Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I Park Like a Jerk

I didn't feel like fixing this one

It's just a short walk to the curb

I have been driving for 5 or 6 years now, but I still can't park. In fact, I don't park. I just stop the car and turn it off. Then I get out and walk away as quickly as possible. I've trained my kids to do the same. We have a small car, as you can see, so I sort of feel justified in not getting right next to the curb; even with my incompetent parking, my car still takes up less room than the average suburban mini-van.

It's not just parallel parking that gives me trouble. I think I may have a problem with depth perception; in all honesty, I should not be on the road at all. (I hope none of my car pool partners are reading this.) I don't always get completely between the lines in a lot.  I just leave it as is, bolting from the car at top speed, hoping to avoid any friends, especially the ones who make fun of me, Mark Schroeder. The car is easy to spot, because we have the only 10-year-old Ford Focus with a country club bumper magnet in town.

My parking deficiency is slightly embarrassing, but I just don't know what to do about it. I can't have my husband teach me how to park, not if we are going to stay married.

My k-turn kicks ass, though.
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7 comments:

  1. cchFebruary 15, 2012 at 6:36 PM

    Aren't you merely endangering your own car with this lazy parking? People here get clipped all the time because their carbutts are sticking out.

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    Replies
    1. Christina KellyFebruary 15, 2012 at 6:40 PM

      Thanks cch. My car is so small it still sticks out less than the average minivan, even with my horrendous parking.

      Delete
  2. AnonymousFebruary 15, 2012 at 8:17 PM

    I've been driving for 22 years (ok, I could have lived without that math) and honestly I am not much better. I try to get as close to the curb as possible ...the way I look at it, if other cars can pass on the left side, I'm good. I refuse to parallel park.

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  3. Jo RoFebruary 17, 2012 at 2:38 PM

    You'd get a ticket for that where I live!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousFebruary 18, 2012 at 3:01 PM

    I've noticed a couple different cars with an automatic self-parking feature - normally, I'd be against driving something smarter than me, but my parking verges on dangerous - just like yours! Perhaps you could give it a try and let me know just how embarrassing it is to ask for a self-parking car...can you bargin with a dealer after that?

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    Replies
    1. Christina KellyFebruary 18, 2012 at 5:57 PM

      Thanks Rachel. We are saving for two college tuitions, but if we ever buy a new car, I will look into that.

      Delete

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