I love the jazz standard "My Funny Valentine," even if the lyrics, written in 1937, and sung with Germanic iciness by Nico in the top version, are downright cruel. "Your looks are laughable/unphotographable/stay little Valentine/stay." Yeah, stick around so I can insult you some more. "Is your figure not as Greek?/Is your mouth a little weak?/when you open it to speak/are you smart?" The girl that Frank Sinatra sings to in the bottom video shakes her head no at that line. (She may be his daughter, which makes it even more nuts.) I also like the Buble version, but I'm not posting it because my husband is freaked out by my Buble fascination. Happy Valentine's day to all the masochists. And also, the non-masochists.