An article in today's New York Times condemns the word "ma'am." It quotes many broads who find usage of the word condescending.
In some prehistoric time when I was 35, and there were numerous magazines, some of which assigned me articles, for which they would then pay me, I wrote a similar piece for Index magazine. I think it was titled "Just Don't Call Me Ma'am" and it is now in a box somewhere in my attic, buried underneath piles of Christmas decorations, Thomas the Tank Engine, and assorted other crap.
The article was inspired by a trip to a record store (they had those back then, and they were usually staffed by cute, dismissive 22-year-olds with esoteric music taste). The clerk had the audacity to call me "ma'am" and I snapped bitchily at him: "Don't Call me Ma'am!" The poor child looked wounded, and my boyfriend gently suggested that I may have overreacted because the clerk was just trying to be polite.
To no avail. I had been made to feel old. This was a sin, an affront to all of womankind. I would have my revenge in the pages of Index magazine.
Now, of course, in my new life as upstanding suburban wife, stay-at-home mother and furtive blog writer, I am constantly referred to as ma'am. I have long since resigned myself to this fate, as 50 looms in the very near future. I now take it as it is offered, politely, if I notice it at all.
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Yes Ma'am...accepting the truth gracefully is a beautiful thing....aside...the last time I used the word "Ma'am" was recently when a mother of two little ones was headed out the door of day camp and without looking back let said door close on my 2 little ones...to which I replied sarcastically "thanks Ma'am." I believe if she held the door open I would have said sweetly "thank you Miss." Nevertheless, she ignored me or was oblivious to everything. She was probably having a bad day but to keep my day interesting and my mind active I would like to believe she is the incarnation of evil. And I will admit that I much rather be called by my first name than "Sir"...Who the f*ck am I...my Dad?
ReplyDeleteI've tried to teach the finer points of 'ma'aming' to my 16 year old son - e.g. - it's a requirement to "ma'am" his teachers, but not so much his best friend's struggling-with-aging mom. He just looks at me like I'm crazy. :-)
ReplyDeleteDon't move to the South! It's yes ma'am, no ma'am down here. Reflexive, peer-to-peer. No irony. Or I haven't cracked the code.
ReplyDeleteHmm. I'm a Southern lady who will be 29 this year. I LOVE being called ma'am. I'm all about it. Whenever I hear it, I'm like: "That's right! respect me underlings!!!" It has always been used as a term of respect. The only time I don't like it is when I am demanding better service and someone uses it obsequeiously (sp?). Then I kinda go nuts.
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