Monday, August 16, 2010

The Tooth Fairy is a Flake

My 10-year-old son lost another tooth yesterday. They're coming out fast and furious now. I put it in a ziploc under his pillow, and when the tooth fairy went to claim it in exchange for $1, rooting around under the f-ing pillow while trying not to rouse the child, she couldn't find it.

Thus, when the boy woke up before 7 am, he came into my room, handed me the tooth, and said, a bit jaded, you forgot this.

Yeah, mister, I wanted to say. I'm the frigging tooth fairy. You're lucky I remembered this time, because more than once, in the midst of taking out the recycling, scooping the cat litter, viewing some mindless entertainment, flossing, starting the dishwasher, etc., I have completely forgotten to fulfill my tooth fairy duties. Honestly, I've never been invested in this myth, and I'm tired of this charade! You're ten, for the love of God.

Instead, I said, sweetly as I could muster in my pre-caffeinated state, do I look like the tooth fairy? And he smiled with relief.

10 comments:

  1. I have never felt like a worse parent than the morning my eight-year-old came to the breakfast table in tears, carrying the tooth I'd forgotten to claim the night before and imagining the Tooth Fairy hated him. Never, that is, except for the NEXT morning, when I forgot again.

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  2. Been there, done that. felt shitty about it. She doesn't bother anymore.

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  3. Like the witches of Oz, not all tooth fairies are good. If you happen to be on the list of the black fairy, no one shows up to collect your tooth.

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  4. I have woken up in a panic at 3 am on a couple of occasions, realizing that the tooth fairy forgot to do the exchange. I'm embarrassed to admit just how neurotic I am, but you kind of already knew that.

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  5. Sweet post. Love the age when they don't *really* believe anymore and have a hard time admitting that they want to... but they WANT to. You played it so right. And if you are a parent who has NEVER EVER forgotten to be the tooth fairy, I do not want to know you.

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  6. F and I had to talk our way out of the last TF failure by saying that the TF only shows up for the first FIFTEEEN teeth!

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  7. The tooth fairy has been sick and on vacation in our house quite a few times. My 9 year old wondered, with so many fairies out there, if she couldn't find a fill in for those times.

    After we gaffed it for about the 4th time, my daughter asked if the tooth fairy was real. I looked her in the eye and asked her if she wanted me to tell her the truth. Quick as a wink she said, "No! That's ok!" There are so many jaded kids out there, I'm glad she's still wants to believe.

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  8. I just discovered the November 2005 issue of ElleGirl...I forgot how amazing that magazine was. I feel like it was the Sassy of my generation, and I just wanted to say thanks for helping to shape my love of fashion and my appreciation of art through your work.

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  9. I lost a tooth in a movie theater once. I was eating a caramel and it just went into the caramel and never came out. My mom gave me a handkerchief for the blood a and we kept watching the film. After the movie had ended she handed me a dollar, said, "This is from the tooth fairy," and that was that.

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  10. @Allyson
    I know how it feels! I was surprised that kids can get so emotional about stuff that we parents find irrelevant (that's just me though). In the end, the Tooth Fairy is just something to keep kids from being afraid of the dentist.

    Jenna Schrock

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