Even the 21 Jump Street movie is all about ME

They've shot a movie version of 21 Jump Street, the tv show that made Johnny Depp a star in the 80s. I don't have anything to say about the movie; I don't even know exactly when it will be released. Whatever, I'll leave the facts and criticism to someone who feels like researching and watching that thing.

What I want to talk about are these pictures of me with Johnny and his high school friend Sal, who was also on the show. It was December 1987 and I had just started working at Sassy. Jane wanted a writer to get a part as an extra on a tv show, and then file what we called a "writer participation story." Someone on staff thought of 21 Jump Street. I knew nothing about the show. Somehow I was entertainment editor even though I didn't have a tv. I was a young single girl in NYC who hadn't needed one. I liked to go out to dance clubs and had been working at Footwear News.

I got on a plane to Vancouver, where they shot Jump Street.  Johnny played an undercover cop in a high school. He was so exceedingly good-looking that you almost had to avert your eyes. And quite short, like almost all actors. They were filming a flashback scene to his 1970s prom. That is why he is wearing what I remember as a pale blue tuxedo. In the scene (in which I was visible on the episode for approximately .1 second), I wore a 70s prom dress, which was interesting because I actually went to the prom in 1979.*  They filmed a make out scene, and after, he complained that the girl he kissed had bad breath.

After they finished shooting, Johnny was feeling goofy so he grabbed a baby doll, and a plunger, and Sal got ahold of that net. Notice they were both smoking. Shenanigans! We were having a ball! Then we all went back to my hotel, where they had all lived, to hang out until the wee hours; Johnny literally fell asleep. (At no point did I actually do any interviews. The whole story was just about being an extra, which is incredible to me. He was a much bigger star than I knew, and honestly, I had no clue what I was doing. Some readers were pissed that I didn't ask him anything.)

They left, eventually, Johnny and his buddies; nothing untoward happened, much to my disappointment. The next morning, Sal called me to see if I could stay for the rest of the weekend. See, he was the one who liked me, which is why they came over.  Sigh. I got on the plane.

P.S. A few years later, I interviewed Johnny for a cover story for Sassy at his house in the Hollywod Hills. You can find it on the internet; it's called "Johnny Depp A to Z." He wasn't nearly as friendly that time, but on the plus side, Winona was there.

P.P.S. I spent this morning in the attic looking for these photos, even though I had planned to vaccuum the crumbs out of the couch cushions. I fell into a rabbit hole of old pictures, letters, articles, and a stack of stickers of the Sassy and Nirvana logos. (It was a giveway in the magazine; one Sassy and one Nirvana logo on the same sheet. I will send a sticker sheet to the reader who leaves the best comment.)

*I had already changed out of the prom clothes by the time we took the top picture, and I think that jacket belonged to a P.A., who lent it to me because I was whining about the cold. My hair is just out-of-control sweet. Those bangs, that volume; I paid someone money to give me that cut.

Note: This post seemed to call for a lot of semi-colons. I am not sure why.

Tina Fey and ME

My husband bought me Tina Fey's Bossypants for Mother's Day. (Petite digression: Anyone know why the type is coming out wonky and in blue? I think it's because I stole this picture from the internet. I had to, because the cover of Bossypants is too freaky for me with the hairy man torso.)

So, Dalton got me the book, which I read in 24 hours---oh, good, the type is normal again--- because I'm obsessed with Tina Fey. I've written about her before. I wanted to express annoyance that the press always connects Fey's weight loss with Lorne Michaels' decision to put her on the air.

What I didn't admit in that post is that I am jealous of Tina Fey. I relate to Tina so much, and feel that we have so many similarities that it leads to full-on career envy. We're both writers, we're both sarcastic, we both have brown hair and wear glasses. We are both moms. Yet there she is ruling the world, running a tv show and writing a book that was excerpted in The New Yorker. Damn, I have always wanted to be in The New Yorker. In contrast, here I sit, still in sweaty yoga clothes, trying to finish this post before the school bus arrives and I begin the unglamorous work of keeping my children from killing each other, while getting everyone to soccer on time, homework done, a reasonably healthy dinner cooked. And on and on. I wonder what special gene Tina has that makes her super successful?

"She is a workaholic," theorized my close friend Heather. "She would go home to put her kid to bed and then make everyone from 3o Rock come to her house so they could write all night." I am definitely not a workaholic. I am a hard worker, and was once an overachiever but I burned out around age 44. And I've never been one to work late into the night, not unless you count going to rock shows for live reviews as "work."

Heather also relates to Tina, though H. has short blond hair and no glasses and is not that sarcastic. Aha! Maybe that is why Tina has done so well for herself! Many women feel a kinship with her! Not just those who can dress up as Sarah Palin for Halloween. (I wanted to post my picture in my SP costume here, but iphoto was being weird and, as I said, the school bus will be here any minute.)

Tina is also pretty fucking funny. I found myself laughing uncontrollably, more in the first half of the book than later. And she was hilarious as a Jersey Girl on Jimmy Fallon.

From the book, I have analyzed five similarities, and five differences, between myself and T.F. This is interesting to no one, except myself, so talk amongst yourselves for the next bit.

Similarities:
1. Name: Tina/Christina
2. I can be funny too, sometimes
3. Both got pregnant with second baby at 40
4. Can't drive; lost virginity at age 23. (These seem related.)
5. Long-suffering husbands

Differences:
1. She acts
2. She did not breastfeed, and wrote some rude things about breastfeeding moms having nipples the size of dinner plates, maybe because she was feeling defensive. I breastfed each kid for 2 years. While working full time as an editor-in-chief. See: "overachiever," above.
3. She's not really a girl's girl, or at least her show isn't very girly.
4. She's very rich
5. She chooses to continue working, while I threw in the towel except for some half-hearted part-time freelancing as well as full-time complaining.

OKAY. The bus is here.

P.S. I guess what I am saying is that Tina represents the road not taken, or perhaps the road not available to be taken. It is possible that me being jealous of Tina Fey is a bit like a karaoke singer being jealous of Christina Aguilera.