Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Mom Who Ruins Everyone's Fun

Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm The Mom Who Ruins Everyone's Fun. This is quite an accomplishment. Any mom can ruin her own kids' fun, just by making them wear sunscreen and eat fresh fruit,  but who among you can ruin everyone's fun?

What's more, I have been informed that "everyone thinks that I am the mom who ruins everyone's fun." Just yesterday, while I was stretched out in the shade trying to read my third Nora Ephron book in two weeks,  I saw a kid strongly knee another kid in the stomach. It was like a pain-inducing move I learned in a women's self defense class back in the 80s, except that one was to the groin. The aggressor's parents were not around, so I said: "I saw that. That wasn't good." Then, I made sure the child writhing on the ground had no internal injuries. This, apparently, was one of many fun-ruining actions.

I was also spotted handing a kid a napkin.

Here is my theme song.


  1. It's no fun keeping children alive and healthy. Broken glass bottle on a stick? No! Javelin-ing a metal bar you found? No! Climbing the soccer goal? No! Throwing rocks? No! All things I have stopped other children from doing.

  2. How is even possible to ruin people's fun when you are a Stooges fan? NOT POSSIBLE!

  3. My mom was the Mom Who Ruined Everyone's Fun, and I am not currently, nor have I ever been, incarcerated. I like to think that the two are related in some way.

  4. See if this makes you feel better about being a fun killa: My friend's husband says she has killed all of his dreams! She's a dream killa!!! And better than that: He said their house is where dreams go to die! Being called the Mom Who Ruined Everyone's Fun is starting to look better now isn't it?
    On a related note, you should totes meet my friend! You two would really hit it off! :)