Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Thongs Make My Skin Crawl

Look, I'd rather not be uncomfortable. And I've reached an age where I don't give a shit if my panty lines show. My list of worries (1. college tuition for two children 2. inability to drive on highways 3. will daughter grow up to be a cheerleader? 4. finish barely started memoir/novel 5. get son to eat one green vegetable 6. is mole on hairline skin cancer? 7. why is the gas heater banging? is it about to blow up?) is way too long.

I've actually never cared about VPL, but in the late nineties, I was peer pressured into buying several pairs of pricey Hanro thongs. For a brief spell, I wore them with low-riding Rebecca Danenberg jeans, plagued by a string of cotton lodged deeply in my crack. Thong wearers, are you not feeling that? I could think of nothing else all day. When I became pregnant, I was liberated to let the instruments of torture rot in my drawer under piles of cozy cotton maternity briefs. Oooh, sexy.

I never looked back, until yesterday, when I was chastised by one of my yoga friends for wearing Gap bikinis which, apparently, are highly visible. She gathered support from a yogini who helpfully showed me the thong she was wearing, from a line cleverly named Commando. I would have said, I'm too old for that shit, but my yoga friend is actually 60! Which is way older even than me!

When I am on my deathbed, I am not going to be lamenting, I should have worn more thongs! (See previous post.)

17 comments:

  1. Oh, don't get me started! How inappropriate! To judge another's panties at yoga!
    (But I will say I wore a thong exactly one day of my life - wedding day. It didn't bother me at all, but it was custom made along with specially engineered bra, and there's so much else to distract one on that day.)
    Don't give in to panty peer pressure.

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  2. You are my hero, pure and simple.

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  3. I suppose that yoga pants would make VPL more visible, but I can NOT get all flustered about things like this, and I think I stopped caring around age 25. If you're trying to completely wow people with an outfit, then fine - wear a thong IF you're one of the few of us who can do so comfortably, or have your dress/skirt/pants lined, or do something similar. But otherwise, I agree with heather - resist the panty peer pressure!

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  4. I also hate thongs- except one. The Hanky Panky low rise thong. It truly is the most comfortable underwear (their tagline is even "the world's most comfortable thong.") I'm currently 7 mos pregnant and this is the only underwear that fits/is comfortable, oddly enough (in fact, in this month's issue of Lucky they said "Hanky panky thongs are the only underwear that will work while you're pregnant" - so I am not the only one who thinks this). They are unfortunately expensive... but thank goodness there was just a HP sample sale and I was able to stock up!

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  5. I am right there with you. Team Gap Bikini!

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  6. I wonder what women did in the pants-wearing decades before the advent of the thong. Did Jackie O. care about VPL? Did Katharine Hepburn? If they did care, how did they solve it?

    Was VPL even a concept before...what...2000? 1997?

    In recent years there's been such a fashionista lashout against pantyhose -- esp. pantyhose with open-toed or open-heeled shoes. This makes me cross, as a woman with imperfect legs in a chilly climate. Sometimes I say screw it and wear nice sheer hosiery with open-toed shoes and slingbacks.

    I wish the tut-tutting anti-hosiery and anti-VPL movements would die.

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  7. Not a thong fan, either...if I'm concerned about panty lines *this is extremely rare for me too* I go without panties.

    And I'm so with you on #2. I can't do it. I used to be able to. Now? No way.

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  8. I wear bikinis with dress pants and skirts but I do wear thongs with jeans. I don't notice them or even give them a second thought, but when I get home and put on my yoga pants with them still on, they drive me crazy.

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  9. COMFORT is KEY in my book..& im here to tell ya...not only r there comfortable thongs on the market, but also comfortable bras, high heels, AND skinny jeans..u just have to know where to shop...;-) Judge not,lest YE be judged! Much Love!

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  10. Mel, can you give more details because I'm about to throw in the towel on all those things.

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  11. Actually I never understand the negative image VPL seems to cause everybody else.

    I couldn't care less, if my VPL was showing when I was 18 and now when I am 28. I can sometimes see men VPL, and they don't care it and why should they and why should us. So again, I don't understand the fuss?

    I have issues if I see a woman wearing thin white cotton pants with VERY visible colored panties. But I think I prefer her wearing panties than thongs with those pants. *shudders*

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  12. I am right there with you, I just don't get the thong.

    I love your blog. I am such a fan of your writing.

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  13. Hi Christina,
    It's so great to have found Fallen Princess after reading your piece in yesterday's Times. Your posts are uniquely hilarious and so well-written. You now have a new FP fan. Btw, we used to work together at Sassy. . .
    Victoria (aka the Vickster)

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  14. I hate thongs and VPL, but I don't think it has to be a choice. There are bikini styles available that don't show under most pants (though maybe not yoga pants, I've never tried). I like ones made of a silky material that have a lace band at the top rather than a more uncomfortable band.

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  15. You could try seamless underwear or boyleg panties instead of thongs. They're much more comfy.

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  16. I have attempted thongs numerous times on the recommendation of my BFF, who only wears thongs, and I cannot stand them. Like you, I can't think of anything else but the string between my cheeks and when I can get home and change into normal bikinis. Ack.

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