Thursday, April 16, 2020

Quarantine Bitch: A Haiku Story

#1: Amazon Fresh

Delivery time!
Conflict: My Zoom yoga class
Knee hurts anyway

#2: Wiping The Food

Disinfecting groceries
Is not very fun
I'll make my husband do it

#3: Cat Vomit

Wonder how I hurt my knee?
Squatted down to clean
A big cat hairball

#4: AARP Magazine

Or maybe it was because
I decided to try
Some old people exercise

#5: RSVP

I cannot attend
The virtual happy hour
I'd have to shower

#6: Endless cooking

College-aged son home
Needs: 6000 calories
Eaten while gaming

#7: Lunch

What fresh hell is this?
We are out of salad greens
Guess I'll eat these chips

#8: Master project

Productive people
have a quarantine project
I prefer not to

#9: Masks

Have two pretty masks
Cannot breathe in either one
Best to stay at home

#10: Nothing

"What's your plan today?"
asks my beloved husband
Same as yesterday

#11: Recipe Fail

New York Times Cooking!
Your Braised White Beans recipe?
No one would eat it

#12: Old

I'd been wondering
How I would look with gray hair
I have my answer

#13: Truth

My mom's in rehab
She was in the hospital
Severe pneumonia

#14: Alone
I can't visit her
I can't hold my mother's hand
She is all alone