"Did you know that there is something known as the Jewish Goodbye? It's when you start your goodbyes and end up walking out the door 30 minutes later. The amount of time increases exponentially depending on how many other Jews there are in the room.
Given the right circumstances I am completely capable of the Jewish goodbye. If there are enough Jews in the room the Jewish goodbye takes you over like a life force. There just keeps being one more Jew to connect with before you get out the door. Or non-Jew, but two Jews can really maximize the potential of the Jewish Goodbye. And if the Jews in the room are relatives, one might even expect to get sucked into the Jewish goodbye's vortex for at least one third of the amount of time one spent at the gathering itself."
This is why I have instituted a policy that Cynthia Heimel introduced in an '80s Village Voice column, though she was referring specifically to fighting with one's partner: "The third time you say you are leaving, you actually have to leave."
ReplyDeleteYou do not know how true this is, and I thought it was just Michael's family. You must kiss, touch, and personally acknowledge every person in the house before attempting to leave. For us it's like this :"Shall we start saying goodbye?" It's a process.
ReplyDeleteMy husband jokes that we have to start saying goodbye as soon as we arrive, if we want to leave at a decent hour. It's definitely a process.
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious. I remember that at the end of this very lengthy process, one of my parents would usually say "call us when you get home, ok? "
ReplyDeleteMy Jewish in-laws like to joke about yet another kind of goodbye: the Jews say goodbye but never leave; the Gentiles leave but never say goodbye.
ReplyDeleteThere's some joke..._____ leave without saying goodbye, Jews say goodbye without leaving. Something like that.
ReplyDeleteMy mom is the only one in our family who was not born Jewish. She converted and she is the most jewy of all of us. She takes the longest exits, teaches Hebrew, and is in a Yiddish band.
Very similar to a southern goodbye, which starts on the couch and involves everyone standing on the front porch for about an hour.
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